4.2. Vitalik But Not-Buterin
Last updated
Last updated
As the Chief Technical Officer (CTO), I have brought onboard the most brilliant imaginable programmer, Vitalik But Not-Buterin.
He possesses a rare combination of intelligence, foresight, and an unyielding drive for justice. His analytical mind and exceptional computational abilities enable him to analyze the most complex systems within minutes. When presented with truly interesting and ambitious challenges, he becomes so absorbed in research that he often forgets about food and sleep.
Vitalik has never sought personal recognition or power. He was indifferent to luxury, public attention, and the title of genius often attributed to him. His motivation came from within, driven by a profound belief that technology could free humanity from economic chains and social inequality. A perfectionist at heart, he sometimes appeared slightly aloof. Demanding of both himself and his team, Vitalik would not tolerate compromises that clashed with his principles.
For him, the top priority was always the same: to create a system that functions honestly and fairly, leaving behind the outdated inflationary models that led the world to collapse.
After landing on planet Earth, Vitalik's first task was to study the Ethereum blockchain. This led to a panic attack intensified by depression. His nervous system couldn’t accept the fact that the second-largest blockchain by market capitalization was a highly inefficient system plagued by high fees, lacking a deflationary model, and dependent on multiple add-on solutions from other blockchains attempting to compensate for its flaws.
Seeking a solution, Vitalik decided to approach local developers. He held several meetings with teams working on Ethereum improvements and tried to explain that their efforts were akin to fixing a broken cart instead of building a supersonic spaceship. They looked at him with bewilderment, as if he were an alien (which, in essence, he was), and insisted they were doing everything possible to advance the network.
But Vitalik refused to give up. He visited the world's leading universities; MIT, Stanford, Oxford, and the Tokyo Institute of Technology as he was searching for geniuses who could join his team. In these halls, he indeed found exceptional developers ready for bold experimentation. They understood his vision and shared his drive to create something far greater than just another cryptocurrency with a market capitalization of several hundred billion dollars.
However, this wasn’t enough. To complete his team, Vitalik traveled to other time periods and planets in search of talent. He recruited the brightest minds of the future, specialists from colonies on Mars, and software architects from research bases on Jupiter’s moons. By uniting forces with such unique scientists, he built a team capable of realizing the ambitious idea of Natoshi Sakamoto: the DeflationCoin cryptocurrency.
Programs brilliantly, unlike Vitalik Buterin.
Produced a massive offspring like Genghis Khan: through natural conception, not from a test tube like Pasha Durov.
While walking in the park, stepped into a huge, stinking pile and later realized it was the Ethereum blockchain.
Loves spinning CS:GO cases and investing in them.
Eats hamster coins for breakfast, doge coins for lunch, and Ethereum supporters for dinner.
Favorite fighter: Conor Nurmagomedov.
Life goal: Ensure that central banks of all countries include DeflationCoin in their strategic reserves.
Favorite hashtag: #CoolerThanButerin.
Views money as a tool, as his ultimate priority is to leave a mark in history and change the financial world.
